Sure, Edward said a million times it was really hard being near Bella without killing her. But I didn’t really get it till I walked past a restaurant and the smell of grilling steak wafted over me. Imagine dating a thick, juicy steak with mushroom sauce that just happened to be able to walk and talk and attend high school. That guy was a masochist all right. See work-in-progress Midnight Sun at http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/ for “Twilight” from Edward’s point of view.
Author Archives: Amani
Travel Photos
I’ve always liked this photo. I was in Ireland and these cows were just roaming along the road, posing for tourists. I like the Celtic cross in the background too. I was in Connemara, either the town of Clifton or Galway.
This is on the same trip, just a peaceful roadway. Some parts of Ireland looked just like American countryside, except for the stone walls crisscrossing the fields.
And here is the little girl in Nepal with two of her friends. She was disappointed that she couldn’t see the photo immediately. I don’t know how common digital cameras were in 2000, so maybe she had encountered polaroid cameras before. Another mental note for traveling – the ability to immediately share photos is appreciated, if not always possible.The Exotic Country You Live In
One of the highlights of my trip to Nepal in 2000 happened when the vehicle I’d hired had a flat on the way back to Kathmandu from Kodari near the border of Tibet. The driver had to take the tire on a bus to another town to get it fixed. He left me with a family that lived by the road. The kids had just gotten home from school and they were thrilled to have a foreigner dropped on their doorstep.
The boy was older and spoke English pretty well. The girl only knew a little English, but her fascination was clearly evident. I sat outside at first, but as the time dragged on they invited me inside to watch TV. The girl was itching to search through my purse. She loved how smooth it was. I showed her some things I had, then found my photos.
I had brought just a few photos with me in case I got homesick – my friends, myself with a music group I liked, and my home. Both kids were eager to see them, but the boy in particular held the pictures close to his face and looked at them hungrily. “This is America?” he asked. I said yes, and he seemed to be trying to see every little detail in the pics. I wished I had brought more. I also wished I had brought a small map of the US to be able to easily point out where in America I live.
I was there for several hours because this was a festival time in Nepal and many businesses were closed, forcing my driver to go to more than one town to get the tire fixed. When I saw him putting the tire on the car I went to talk to him, and he immediately said “Are you very angry?” He probably didn’t believe me when I told him I wasn’t. It had been a really cool experience.
I had already seen animal sacrifices, temples, Himalayan roads with hairpin turns, and the buses that make you back up on those hairpin turns because there’s no room to pass. Women washing clothes in streams that flowed down the mountain over those same roads. Women in bright saris riding on the backs of motorcycles going to celebrate the festival. Heard Nepali disco music (again – my driver).
I realized that it was basically people going to work, doing their household chores, going to worship – just an ordinary life.
And to these kids living alongside the road between Kodari and Kathmandu, I was the exotic one. My country was interesting and strange.
Goats and Ducks Just Hanging Out
A presumably professional photographer’s photos hang on the wall at my Starbucks. Two of a mountain goat and one of a duck. The first response I had was “cool”, but now I look at them again and they seem bland. Their main features are their close range and sharpness. Always an accomplishment to have closeup photos of wildlife (I assume the goat is wild), and more impressive still if it has sharp detail. But those are both functions of the quality of camera more than the photographer.
Ok, yes, maybe the photog thought to use a tripod or had a steady hand, but I’m saying there is little artistry in these shots.
Do you want to hang these on your wall because you like goats and ducks? The photos’ backgrounds are blurred telephoto-wise to the level of a photographer’s studio backdrop, so they are not “outdoorsy” so much as just anatomical goat / duck images. They express no emotion, and only as much beauty as a goat can exhibit while calmly deciding whether there is any food to be had.
I have long lamented the lack of discretion exhibited by digital camera users. Just because you can take 1,000 photos doesn’t mean you should. Maybe some people actually cull the bad ones, but I haven’t met them. And I’ve seen plenty of blurry photos and non-subjects (why did you take a photo of my tent at the campground again?) so I think even the act of uploading them to a photo site doesn’t cause them to pause to consider what’s actually in the pics.
I will try to keep this in mind as I write. Just because I can store 10,000 words doesn’t mean I should.
Taa Daaaaa
I have to keep telling myself: It’s okay to be ordinary. (Ouch, it hurts to even type that word!)
In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth says she and Darcy are both unwilling to speak unless they expect to say something that will amaze the whole room. Likewise, I have always expected myself to sit and immediately write brilliant, thought-provoking prose. Simply writing what I see or feel never seems “good enough”.
Lately I’ve been learning that you don’t need a beautiful face, impressive accomplishments, or even a flat belly to be loved. And isn’t that why we want to be mind-blowingly brilliant after all? We hope our brilliance, our wit, our…something we do will catch another human being’s attention and they will consider us long enough to see how lovable and worthy we are.
The good news is, you don’t have to wait for love, and you certainly don’t have to compete to get love. It’s all around you. Be open to it and be ready for any opportunity to give or receive love. While you are waiting to be noticed, you can be living an ordinary, run of the mill, joy-filled life instead of trying to be perfect. And isn’t a joy-filled life “good enough”?