Location Inspiration

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Inspiration for a scene in Eliana-Who-Sees-Us – when she decides to call the church.

Writers sometimes struggle with how specific to be in a novel. If you mention using a particular social media app, for example, will that app still be popular two years later? Or will its user demographics age, leaving your teen character looking out-of-step for using it? On the other hand, if you describe your character as using “a social media app” without naming it, your writing will lose points for being vague.

I took a picture of a parking lot that inspired a location in Eliana-Who-Sees-Us. It’s not a beautiful place – in fact, it’s looking a little worse for wear in recent years. But while editing the book, I asked myself, “Are there still Redbox rental machines sitting outside stores?” I was happy to see that was one thing I didn’t need to change in the text before sending it off!

Empty vs. Balanced

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I checked another huge item off my to-do list, which is also part of my life goals list. Afterwards, I celebrated a little in my usual fashion (hint: it involved Netflix and popcorn . . . a lot of popcorn), but I knew I had another long list of items I had been putting off. I couldn’t face them all right away, and I’m still struggling with feeling empty and exhausted.

It seems to be a good lesson in balance. You will be emptied and you will expend energy as you pursue a goal. Even normal daily activities like interacting with people may sap your resources. You have a choice: wait till you hit empty or fill up as you go. If you’re lucky, those very things you spend your energy on will be the ones that fill you up. If not, awareness is key. Whether you think of your energy and well-being as a gas tank or a checking account, monitor the level frequently. Either one can leave you stranded if ignored.

As I write this, I realize that my celebration was my typical relaxation, but it felt more like feeding my body with junk food than healthy food (yes, okay — that was part of the celebration). At this point in life, I know what I should do to take care of myself, but I’m still getting stuck at that gap between awareness and action. I have to keep reminding myself again and again how good it feels to feel good – physically, mentally, and emotionally – so that I will take the effort to do what fills me up properly. Hopefully, someday I won’t even view taking care of myself as effort.

I Am Pro-Reptile

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My brother loved snakes. My mother was terrified of them. I guess I could have gone either way, but because my brother caught snakes and let me hold them when I was – I don’t know, maybe five years old? I was not afraid of them.

As an adult, I am extremely cautious with snakes because I have never learned to properly identify the venomous ones. There are lots of “tips” to identify them, but also exceptions to each one, so I just don’t pick up snakes unless I’ve got an expert with me. I’ve learned over the years how important snakes and other reptiles are to the balance of nature, and I’m trying to find ways to keep our city lawn wildlife-friendly.

In my novel, Eliana-Who-Sees-Us (which I just sent back to the editor last night), Eliana sees demons clinging to people – whispering to them or otherwise trying to influence their behavior. The demons look like reptiles or frogs to her (okay, yes, frogs are amphibians). They usually look like “weird lizards” or have a froglike mouth, and there is one with a dragonlike body. That last one originally had a “humanish head,” but I decided that was too creepy so I changed it.

I don’t want people to think that reptiles are evil though. So here are a couple photos of me from this past weekend, interacting with nature’s reptilian side. The big gator sighting was a funny story — he was lying next to the path and we debated whether we should get that close, but we needed to go down that trail. I was not happy about it, and was last in line. He started moving before I got across, so I just turned and walked the other way. He simply crossed the path and went into the water.

Touching a baby alligator at Brazos Bend State Park.
Gator on path with me at a respectful distance. Thank you to Anna Luckenbach for the photo.

Give Others a Chance to Support You

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Have you ever wanted to do something that you worried would seem ridiculous to other people? Or maybe it seemed impossible, risky, or just weird. “Find Your Tribe” is one slogan I hear – generally meaning to go find the people who are like you or have the same passions as you. I love that idea, however, don’t discount the people already around you until you’ve really given them a chance.

I am an introvert and tend to worry about what other people think. I assume that people in my life – coworkers, family, friends – will expect me to stay the same “me” and keep doing the same things. It can be unsettling when people close to us no longer fit our image of them. Also, we don’t want our loved ones to be hurt, and change can mean taking a risk. But I’ve been genuinely surprised at the support I’ve received when I’ve opened up and shared my aspirations.

The biggest example that comes to mind is when I had a long-distance relationship with a man from Nepal. And I do mean LONG distance. If you pick up a globe with one index finger on Houston and the other on Nepal, they are pretty much on the opposite sides of the world. When I opened up and told some friends at a party (basically anyone who was in the kitchen at that moment) that I was longing to drop everything here and go live in Nepal, they supported me without blinking. “I’ll help you pack” was one immediate comment. Another woman said I could stay at her condo after I got back while I looked for a new job (if necessary). As it turned out, a different friend invited me to stay with her while I apartment-hunted when I got back.

“But what if the opposite happens?” you ask. Fine, let the people actually say the hurtful things rather than have you put the words into their mouths in your fearful fantasies. You have to eliminate the possibility that you are just using these imaginings as an excuse to hold yourself back. Even my boss and coworkers were excited for me and helped me any way they could, even though it meant more work for them while I was gone.

Regrets? I should have taken the one friend up on her offer to help pack, as I was moving my belongings to storage the same day I flew to Nepal, and it was a hectic day. Although it was an incredible adventure and I ended up marrying my Nepalese boyfriend, that outpouring of support in the kitchen will always be one part of the experience that I remember most.

Figuring It Out As You Go

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Today is the anniversary of my hire date at my current office job. (All our personnel documents have it at the top, otherwise I doubt I would remember it.) I don’t normally celebrate the day or anything, but it is a little more significant this year. One year from now I will “retire.” I will still have to pay the bills, but my plan is to work at something other than an office job.

Once you’ve done one kind of job, it’s easiest to keep doing it. You have experience on your resume, so your employer is not taking a chance on whether you can learn it. I will have to push myself to Be, Do, and Have new things in my life and not just slip back into the easy and familiar. When I was in my 20’s . . . and 30’s, I kept thinking “I’ll figure it out eventually.” Now I realize I have to live the life I want now, not in ten years.

One thing I’ve wanted for decades is to be a published author. I’m publishing my first book this summer. The learning curve has been much steeper than I expected. Over the next two months, I have a tremendous amount to learn and do, all while finishing up a final edit. Oh, and then there’s the next novel that is nagging at me to write it! All of this has the potential to overwhelm me like a sudden wave pushing me underwater.

I’m going to get into the water and swim, while I’m learning to swim. Reading and talking about swimming got me to this point, and now I have to take it further.