Is tension / strife (racial or otherwise) getting better or worse in America?
Internet discussions and TV and print news tend to go for the most discord they can drum up to get you to click or watch or to buy the paper. Headlines may be misleading just to draw you in. Perspective may be slanted to make the story irresistible. They say “sex sells,” but how do you make a story irresistible? Give people something to be angry about.
In a workshop I took a few years ago, the instructor said that anger is just a way of putting the focus on someone else. We don’t want to look at parts of ourselves that make us uncomfortable, so we find a reason to put our attention on another. We make them our scapegoat without considering that other person is a human being with reasons for what they do and with desires and needs no less worthy than ours.
I think most of us as children were taught not to discuss religion or politics. But did anyone ever tell you why? I wasn’t from a background that would cause discrimination for our family’s religious beliefs or politics. So I assume it was because people in our society cannot simply state their views and reasons and expect to receive the same without offense.
It would be wonderful to say “I think this,” and the other person could say “I disagree and here is why.” Or “I think you are looking at the issue from perspective A, but these other people are looking from perspective B.” Then the first person could say “I don’t agree” or “Oh, I hadn’t considered that.” All without calling each other “stupid”.
Some of my Facebook friends post or share posts of impassioned mini-speeches. I’ve noticed they rarely get through a paragraph without calling their opposition “stupid,” and those are the ones being fairly restrained. I wonder sometimes who they think is reading their posts. Just a bunch of like-minded friends who want to be angry about the same subject in the same way? Or do they consider that their posts may be read by someone who disagrees?
If your post is read by someone who disagrees, do you want to reach that person and ask them to consider a different viewpoint? If so, calling them names, insulting them, shaming them and their side will only cause them to reject what you say, even the reasonable parts of your argument. When was the last time someone called you stupid, greedy, or mean and you responded with “yeah, hey thanks – now I see the error of my ways.” It’s more likely you would not only disagree with them, but look for other reasons to dislike them. What kind of friends, hobbies, job or whatever do they have that could be ridiculed? Anything to get back at them. And the “discussion” goes beyond ill thought out venting to increasing anger and so it pushes people further apart.
Maybe we need speech and debate classes to be mandatory to teach people how to discuss a topic. They could now be “speech, debate, and internet posting” classes.
Are you trying to change someone’s mind? Then ask yourself, are you open to having your mind changed? Do you accept the idea that you could be wrong? If not, then don’t try to make the other person “wrong”.
This blog topic is part of a monthly series wherein a group of bloggers will all write their take on the same topic and publish on the same day without having read any of the others. Here are links to the other blogs:
· Leslie Farnsworth: http://www.lesliefarnsworth.com/
